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  • Kerrie Noor

Interviews With Authors: V.L. Heathcote

Updated: Nov 22, 2018


Today I am chatting with V.L.Heathcote a woman of many talents. She has written and directed several plays, illustrated and written a children's book and is currently promoting The Harlequin Triangle - A trilogy of three adult novels set in London with five stars reviews.

Colouring In, More Colouring and Over The lines.

Question 1:- Looks like we’re heading for a nuclear apocalypse how would you spend the final days?

Probably just stay home with my cats and my daughter. I'd phone the people I care about. I'd watch the telly and pretend it wasn't happening. I'd write stuff on the walls - (in case any aliens came to the planet in years to come) - advocating love and working together to look after the planet instead of hatred and competition and all the things that had brought about its demise. I'd buy loads of yummy food and drink and gorge on that.

I think I will come and stay with you!

Question 2:- When it comes to writing what are the excuses you use not to sit down and write?

I don't really give excuses not to write but I do like the home to be clean and tidy and to know what meals I'm going to eat before I get going on the writing.

Now I want to come and visit even more!

Question 3:- What teacher inspired you A):-laugh in the face of adversity, B) hide in the face of adversity c) or just how to spell it properly?

I don't remember any of my teachers teaching me to laugh or hide in the face of adversity but Mrs Thickett was the teacher who taught us spelling and grammar and to whom I will be forever grateful.

Mrs Thickett, a teacher? Cracking name for a character?

Question 4:- What school friend inspired A) you to something bad, b) do something good and, c) give up on the human race (momentarily)

My friend Loreley, who turned up at our school from Australia at the age of about 13 always encouraged bad behaviour (ie climbing onto the roof of the pavilion and smoking). My friend Carol, who I've known since the age of 5, inspired me to be kind to those less fortunate than myself. No one has ever inspired me to give up on the human race. I managed that all by myself.

Smoking on a roof; with an Australian-you bring a tear to my eye!

Question 5:- Name three celebrities who get on your tits, wick or something similar?

Piers Morgan, Lowrie Turner, Eamon Holmes(I would have said Katie Hopkins but there is nothing celebratory about her!) really get on my tits. Or maybe Greg Wallace... There are many more...

Which links us nicely onto the next question...

Question 6:- Pick the perfect method for torturing people who interrupt you when you are talking?

An adapted hat that has a hidden boxing glove which shoots out and punches people in the mouth every time their voice comes over mine.

That is a superb idea-thankyou

Question 7:- What is the most useless, waste of space advice you have been given?

Not exactly advice but I was told... 'it was just a cat after all' when my cat got killed; presumably in order to tell me to get over the tragedy as soon as possible. Like that was supposed to make me feel better!

Hmmm, worthy of your boxing glove hat treatment?

Question 8:- You’re God for a day what changes would you make to this planet of ours?

If I was God for a day, I would clean up the oceans, give someone the formula for curing cancer, create food-producing land and clean water in third world countries and clear racism and prejudice of all forms from people's minds. I would redistribute wealth so that the poor had the most and the wealthy were made poor. I would eradicate all weapons and explosive materials.

Which leds us nicely onto the next question.

Question 9:- Ok now you are the devil for a day?

If I was the Devil, I would have all cosmetic surgery, undergone for reasons of pure vanity, spontaneously combust. I would exterminate all psychopathic world leaders after publicly humiliating them. (eg Trump, Putin, Kim Jon Ung). I would maim all those who have abused any weak and vulnerable people or animals including war mongers so they could never outrun those who seek revenge. I would have it proven to the fanatic religious nuts in America that their beliefs are rubbish and hypocritical and make them eat their bibles.

Sister I am glad I am on your right side! Finally last question...

Question10:- What sort of comedy do you find not funny?

I can't bear Mrs Brown's Boys and anything similar. Not keen on Benidorm either.

Thank you fellow author for your insightful answers. I really enjoyed your take on things and wish you all the best with The Harlequin Triangle.

You can find out more about V.L.Heathcote on her website

https://www.penleaprintworks.com

and

You can buy the The Harlequin Triangle on any Amazon site or the link below

https://goo.gl/g88M7R

Kerrie Noor

An Aussie 'chilling it' in Scotland

KERRIE NOOR