Sci-Fi Books in Scotland
Sci-Fi Books in Scotland
Sci-Fi Books in Scotland

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Sci-Fi Books in Scotland
Sci-Fi Books in Scotland
Sci-Fi Books in Scotland
  • Kerrie Noor

The Buying Of A Vibrator

Updated: Jan 9




A long time ago I brought a vibrator, it was an embarrassing event which I knew would one day make a funny story.


Years later the event rose to the occasion like any decent young man and found its’ way into a novel I was working on “Three Angry women and a Baby.”


The novel is now finished and I thought why not cheer a few folk up in these tough times of isolation and fear? So sit back, enjoy and raise a glass to the good old days when shopping didn't require gloves, or masks and the only thing dangerous about a sneeze was its' ability to put your back out.


The Buying Of A Vibrator


I decided to buy a vibrator.I had seen a couple of them at a hen party humping about a table like legless dicks, and I, like many, had flashed a glance at an Ann Summers window, sometimes stopping for a better look . . .

Ann Summers is the sort of shop that sells sex toys and lingerie for women, and I had passed it many times, flashing a glance at the mannequins in underwear a drag queen would give her right tit for and nighties like those worn in romantic comedies.


Well, this time, I wasn’t going to fanny about — I was going in.

It was a Monday morning when I walked in. Ann Summers was empty apart from two assistants lounging about the counter talking about their holidays.


They clocked me straight away as I lingered by the edible body paint . . .


The older assistant nudged her comrade as I picked up a pink tube of “pussy rub” and tried to read the label without my glasses. She was mid-forties and had a blonde hairdo with short back and sides, six-inch heels, and glasses swinging from a gold chain just shy of a cleavage that would have Henry cracking Mount Everest jokes.


“VV at eleven o’clock,” chuckled Short Back and Sides, setting her cleavage into motion.


Her younger male comrade’s perfect eyebrows twitched. “What was that, Darl?”